How many times do you “FEEL” like going to the gym or mowing the lawn? Do you really “FEEL” like going to work or school? But you do! Why? Because you have to if you want to eat, get ahead, be healthy, or have a nice place.
So how do you make yourself do something you don’t “feel” like doing? Simple! Because YOU have control of your thoughts, and in turn, you have control of your feelings! You can choose your feelings. You can choose to feel love, anger, sadness, joy, peace.
I know what you are thinking…someone cuts you off driving home from work, a crappy day at work at that! That makes you mad! They did it to you! Well, that is true! HOWEVER, you can choose to react by using your head by using thoughts instead of reacting with your feelings. What if you “reframed” the event? Would you be more understanding if they really didn’t mean to or their wife is in labor and they are rushing to the hospital? What if the driver is 15 years old and learning to drive and that is the first city driving she has experienced? See, it changes your perspective!
A change in perspective can change your thought pattern about ANY issue or circumstance! Change your thought pattern and that can change your feelings! You no longer can say, “I can’t help it, I just feel that way”! That is BS! You are using that as a cop out! You have control over your feelings! When you master your thoughts (it takes practice, commitment, and intellectual maturity) you master your feelings and when you master your feelings you are now in control. You now can choose how you react to everything in life. You can learn to enjoy more and be agitated less!
You can even choose to love someone. We all know the feeling of love and the overwhelming good feeling that makes us have inside. I remember when I got divorced I had decided I was going to find someone that matched me “perfectly”. Perfectly for me. I don’t say this to bash my ex. Not at all. We were just not right for each other. Back to my point…so when that relationship ended I decided I wasn’t going to fall into the same trap many people do after divorce. They find themselves remarrying someone similar or very much like their ex. And the end is repeated. I made a list of “deal killers” categories so when a relationship started to develop beyond a friendship I could intellectually analyze the relationship. I don’t have time to waste! I was fortunate that God sent me an amazing woman. There was PLENTY of attraction and emotion when we first meet, but after some long, mature talks I not only started to “fall” in love I made a DECISION to love her. I controlled my thoughts, which controlled my feelings, and it controlled my actions. I didn’t just fall in love with that woman, who became my wife, I made a commitment to our relationship that is renewed everyday and everyday in the future.
I am in charge of my feelings! It makes me a better person. It makes me more understanding and patient. Do I get it right everyday? Oh NO! This level of emotional maturity must be practice everyday and every moment. There is no end to the work, but is it worth it? Yes it is! We all should strive to become the best versions of ourselves as possible! Look at me…at 43 found the love of my life! I married the person of my dreams at 49! LOVE is very real for those of us that are older or have been through the toughness of divorce!
Start by making a commitment to start being aware of your feelings and thoughts. Start making changes to how you think about situations and circumstances! As soon as you start controlling your thoughts you will master your feelings!